Good Relationships

Chapter Ten: Good Relationships

Friendship

  • Scripture. The OT has many examples of friendships. David and Jonathon is perhaps the best example. The NT is a bit different, but still sees friendship as a high ideal.
  • Ancient Philosophical tradition. 
    1. Plato talks a lot about love between two humans (mostly male to male). Not a call to homosexuality.
    2. Aristotle identifies three kinks of friendship: the noble, the pleasant, and the useful.
    3. Cicero (Roman era) regarded friendship, along with wisdom, to be desired above all things.
  • Ancient and Medieval Christian Thought. 
    1. Augustine found the idea of friendship, but faced ambivalences in how to define it.
    2. Aelred of Rievaulx. True friendship is oriented around fellowship in Christ (shared with Augustine).
    3. Thomas Aquinas. Friendship with God precedes human friendship. Defines three levels of friendship.
  • Universal. Friendship not addressed much since it is hard to reduce to actions and outcomes.
    1. Immanuel Kant. Perfection means being everyone’s friend.
    2. Søren Kierkegaard. Every person is be loved without reserve. Impossible with the help of God.
    3. Anders Nygren. 
  • Subversive. Two aspects are emphasized. 
    1. Revision. Traditional ideas of friendship are related to class, gender, and race. The revisionists insist that friendship has to cross boundaries.
    2. Rejection. Because the model of friendship is so patriarchal, it has to be rejected and a new model defined.
  • Ecclesial. Themes in ecclesial approaches.
    1. Hospitality. 
    2. Singleness. “Christians should resist viewing friendship through the modern lens of personal autonomy as “a relationship of minimal obligations and maximal liberty” and instead reconfigure it as one more akin to the enduring bonds between spouses or siblings.”
    3.     Common life. 

Family, Marriage, and Sex

  1. When Marriage and family go well. Four areas for interest: a)the nature of the male and female and their roles, b)how marriage can be an entry into the kingdom of God, c) the role of sexual intercourse, and d) children. The NT doesn’t really say much about family.
  2. The boundaries of marriage and family. Issues of sex, ending marriage, and other boundaries.
  3. When marriage and family go wrong. Spousal abuse, child abuse, and other issues are involved here.

Three themes from the early church:

  1. Marriage is a matter of natural law and is designed for procreation.
  2. Marriage is a contract and subject to civil law.
  3. Marriage is a means of grace.
  • Universal. “Universal ethics tends to concentrate on identifying and seeking to resolve anomalies and ambiguities concerning the appropriate boundaries of sexual relationships. Preliminary to this enquiry is the question of whether male and female genders are essential or external dimensions of the self.” There are three broad areas of issues
    1. Promiscuity.
    --Cohabitation. --Pre-martial Sex. 
    —Promiscuity
    2. Autoeroticism.     Aka masturbation.
    3. Marriage. Adultery (forbidden by a commandment). Divorce. Further marriage after divorce. Polygamy. Usually one man have multiple wives (polygyny). Prostitution. 
  • Subversive.
    1. Domestic abuse.
    2. Child abuse. 
    3. Hagar (issues of race).
  • Ecclesial.  
    1. Is the family a church, and is the church a family? Most would say that the two are     separate and should not be confused.
    2. If marriage is an analogy for the relationship of Christ and the church, is it a unique and/or indispensable analogy? 

Same-Sex Relationships

  1. Biblical texts. Only a few texts address the topic directly.
  2. Historical Context. The issue early on was the necessity of having children to support the family. Hence marriage and family were important. The culture has changed so that now that necessity is no longer there.
  • Universal. The issues:
  1. Same-sex orientation does not exist. Three arguments are used. a. All humans are heterosexual.   b. There is no such thing as fixed orientation. c. Gay and lesbian sex is not sex.
  2. Same-sex orientation exists, but sam-sex behavior is wrong. a. The Bible regards same-sex behavior as idolatrous and disruptive of the created good of marriage. b. Natural law requires sex for procreation.
  3. Same-sex orientation exists but same-sex behavior is a lesser good. a. In the grand scheme of the world, this is a minor issue. b. Pastoral patience.
  4. Same-sex orientation and behavior are good—as good as heterosexual orientation and behavior. a. Good to be expressed in marriage mirroring a normal marriage. b. Same-sex relationships are good to be expressed in an exclusive friendship. c. Same-sex relationships are a good to be expressed in a new form of relationship. 
  • Subversive. Four important issues in the debate.
    1.  Oppression. Homophobia and its causes.
    2.  Diversity. 
    3. Equality. 
    4. Rereading Scripture. 
  • Ecclesial. The discussion focuses on the purpose of sex and the nature of discipleship.
    1.  Vocation. 
    2.  Ministry. 
    3.  Communion.
Charles Eklund 2018